My day

Hey Jackie, can’t wait to see you back at BP. Just wait until you hear my new song “Oh Nancy.....OH Nancy.....You’re so fancy....you look like Barbie!”
Ya, 9inch just loves it!=P.
Anyways, today I had my B2B marketing exam, and I think it went well. I’m glad one class is over and done with now. 4 more to go.
Today also marks the 3 year anniversary that the US went and started bombing (liberating) Iraq. Wow, I bet all the Iraqis are celebrating this anniversary! (ya right!).
Oh, and today I froze waiting for the bus, got to school late for a group meeting, and then didn’t care because nothing new was done for our project anyways. Meh.
Oh, and I got a postcard from Michelle from Quebec. Thank you Michelle, now if only you'd hang out with us again.
This week will be nice and sunny, enjoy!!!

shopping

Judy, you’ll be able to find lots of used DS's once the new model comes out. That should be sometime in May. It all depends on how fast they can make them. They’re selling them in Japan right now, but it’s selling like crazy, and no one can keep it in stock. Look at these people waiting for one just last week. The DS is great, Mario Kart DS rocks. The best Mario Kart ever! Once you get one we can play some multiplayer, and I’ll kick your butt!;)
Hey, and delete some of your messages. It’s always full when I call!=)

Work was busy this past weekend, lots of people. Last night it died off pretty quick though. Kyle and I shared a big family Birthday party. It went well, except for one little mistake: I punched in 5 spinach salads instead of 5 spinach dips! Man, when they brought out the salads, I was so confused. Finally I realised what I had done, and got them to quickly make the dips. Man!

Yesterday I went shopping and bought some cool clothes. I seem to only go shopping roughly four times a year, so it was fun. I’ll do some more once school slows down. I also went looking for digital cameras and a laptop. I want them both to be light, small, and strong. It’s a tough balance, but that’s what I need. I’m willing to trade some horse power for easier portability. Any suggestions guys?

Games: Tetris, Metriod

An all new portable Metroid game with graphics comparable to the Gamecube games? Oh, and with multiplayer, voice chat and free online play with people from around the world? Nintendo, I’m sorry for ever buying a Playstation, I will never do that again.


Oh wait, there’s more good news? An all new Tetris game for the DS with 6 different ways of playing? All I could wish for now would be classic Nintendo themed backgrounds for those games. What, I am granted that wish too? I haven’t played Tetris for years, but I can’t wait to now!
I love my DS, I can’t wait to play these games! (hurry up school and end already!)
Judy, you gotta get a DS=)






*I swear that this is not a paid advertorial for Nintendo, or Nintendo games. I just really miss playing video games right now=)

Avian Flu

"The WHO says in the best-case scenario, two to seven million people will die in the next pandemic and tens of millions will need medical attention. But if the virus is particularly virulent, the number of deaths could be dramatically higher. The organization warns that the global spread of a pandemic can't be stopped – but preparing properly will reduce its impact. "
This is something that we should all be keeping an eye on. No one knows what might become of it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Right now, everyone is waiting to see if the virus mutates, and gains the ability to spread from human to human. If this happens, it’s very likely that our “well overdue” pandemic will hit and millions will die. These things spread fast nowadays, so a few weeks notice will be what we have until it hits Toronto (remember how fast S.A.R.S. spread?).
Nothing to panic about right now, but cautionary planning is always good. Check out the site above to learn more about it.
(This post is dedicated to Daren who has a cold. Or is it the Bird Flu, dunn dunn dunn.......;)

I got in!

Today I woke up at 5; I had to go to Ryerson and enroll in a Spring course. My Dad drove me there on his way to work, and I got there at about 6:45. It was raining so hard, and I didn’t really know where to go. I also had the worst umbrella ever, the metal arms have already snapped. All the buildings that I saw looked closed. At first I waited by the Chang building, but then found an enrollment building. When I went in, there was already a small line forming by the registration desks. I filled out my forms and waiting in line for them to open. They opened at 8:15. Thank God I came early because there was a huge line up by the time they opened. I was so scared that the class I need in order to graduate would be filled. But, it wasn’t and I enrolled no problems! I’m relieved right now. Tired and relieved. I took the subway and bus back to school, where I am now.
Today I have a B2B Marketing presentation and plan due. I worked on the promotional part which looks great. It was a good group after all, most people did there work great.
I also can’t wait to get home and go to sleepzzzZZZZ

Sushi on Bloor

First off, why am I at school on a Saturday! To many group meetings that's why.
So, I haven't posted in a while and thats because I've been really busy with school. So many things to do.
Last night, I had some really great and cheap Sushi. I went with Daren and his friends to a place called Sushi on Bloor. The wait to get a seat was crazy, but very worth it. Almost all of us got a Supreme Box, that came with everything that Prince Sushi's box has, just more. They also gave us all free Mango ice cream, yum.
Then we went to Second Cup, and I got a tasty hot cranberry drink.
After that Daren and I walked to meet Veena and Sreng outside of the club Fly. We've never been there, and were excited to check it out. A problem occured though: Sreng locked his keys in the car. So, we spend the next few hours to get a CAA guy to come and unlock the door. Daren's friend hooked us up with that.
After that we went to a bar, had a drink, and warmed up a bit. It was too late to go to Fly, so we'll have to go back on another day.
It was still a fun night, although we didn't get to go to the club.

Music: Goldfrapp

Here’s some more electronic up-tempo music for all of those who like it. Actually, I believe that Goldfrapp has at least one song that anyone will love. If you haven’t heard it yet, please listen to the song “Strict Machine,” it's great.
If you want a really sexy song, listen to “Train”.
The new album is Supernature. The new single is “Ride on a White Horse” Click here to watch the video for the song, it is truly a piece of art, you HAVE to see it (scroll down the page, the video links are at the bottem). I haven’t heard the new album, but will probably buy it sometime (I have a long list of cds I have to buy, but never get a chance to).
Oh, and then there is "Black Cherry," one of my favourite songs ever.
Enjoy.

The Oscars

Why the hell did Crash win best picture??? I didn’t think it was all the great. It was too over the top with racism, and become slightly unrealistic. Maybe it was to send a message that Hollywood cares about racism. Haven’t we moved onto new fights though?
At least Ang Lee won best director, that's still a huge honour for Brokeback.
I was also glad that the actor from Capote won best actor, he was really good in that. And best song? It’s hard being a pimp? What a joke that was, all the clichés of rap music rolled into one. Can’t rap evolve into something greater than shootouts, baggy cloths, and “bling”? Look at K-os, ..that’s new styles. Oh well, hopefully this “grills” faze doesn’t last long.
=P
Jon Steward was great though. Really funny, at least if you follow news in the slightest.

Reoccurring Dream

Okay, now back to writing about fun things.

Yesterday I went to work, it was really slow. Jen managed, which always makes things fun. J.T. gave me a copy of American Beauty, which I am excited to watch.
Today we’re going to the cemetery to see Nonno John’s plot. Nonna Connie wanted to go, so she will meet us there with Aunt Laura.

I have to write about my reoccurring dream. Mine isn’t so much the same dream, but the same theme to my dream. This is how it goes: I’m somewhere where there are many people around me. These people are all human, but I know that they are evil/ monsters/ brainwashed, whatever. I also know that they will “get me” if they find out that I am not one of them. So, I have to pretend that I am one. (Think along the lines of Invasion of the Body Snatchers with the pod people). Sometimes this is done by a facial expression, or a phrase that I repeat aloud. I usually have to get away from them, and usually find a person or two who are not one of them.
I think this is strange, yet cool. I do enjoy these dreams; I just find it strange that I keep having them. I just had another one yesterday.
Anyone else have reoccurring dreams? When I was young I always had dreams that my teeth would fall out or be loose.

Saying Goodbye

Here’s what’s been going on for the last few days. This is a very long post, but bear with it.
On Wednesday night was Nonno John’s wake. It was a lot nicer then previous wakes that I’ve been to. It wasn’t so morbid, and people we standing around talking. Nonno Connie was crying a lot that night though. Nonno John’s body looked almost nothing like him, and was so cold.

On Thursday were another two wakes for him, one in the morning, and one at night. They were also less morbid. Nonno Connie cried less these time, and spoke with visiting family and friends. So many of my parent’s friends came, along with my cousin’s and Aunt’s. My cousins Denise and Diana were cry more this day, and even I broke down once.

Then, today was the funeral. We arrived at the funeral home at 7:50, while the guests arrived between 8am and 9am. I was one of the pallbearers, something I’ve never done before before. At 9am, the guest slowly left the room, and waited for us outside. My cousins and I went up to the body first to say our last good byes. Then his sons and daughters went up. When my Dad was saying his last goodbyes I started crying. Then my Aunt Laura went up, and I couldn’t stop. Hearing her say “oh Dad, you were so funny, you made me laugh so much” was so emotional. It was also the first time that I saw her really break down. Then Nonna Connie went up, which was heart wrenching. My cousins Denise, Diana and I were Kleenex faced, nose running like crazy. I haven’t cried uncontrollably since a year ago. His body was lowered into the coffin, and slowly the lid was closed.

A few minutes later, we made our way out of the room. On the way out, I went to give Nonna Connie a hug. She said “See, Nonno John is gone” and we both started crying and hugging. Someone kindly moved us apart, and I went to the washroom to compose myself. I did, and then took my place with the other five pallbearers (who, with everyone else, were waiting for me at the front of the funeral home).

Ava Maria began to be sung by a women who works at the funeral home. (I don’t know why they always use this song). Roses were put down on the floor, and the casket was wheeled out to us. I started crying again, and didn’t stop until we had brought the coffin outside and loaded it into the hearse. The six of us got in our limo, and took the drive towards the church. It felt like hours. I fought hard not to cry hard here. It felt surreal; I had never been in the front of the funeral possession. Funeral always went like this: Nonno John is riding in the front seat of our car, with Nonna Connie and my mom beside me in the back. Now, Nonno John’s body was in the front of the possession.

We got out at the church, and carried the coffin up the stairs and put it back down on the stand to wheel it in. My family was all around, and I just couldn’t believe this was all happening. I cried all the way in (I swear, this will be the last time I’m asked to be a pallbearer=). We all then took our seats, and I tried hard to cry quietly, although at this point, my body had full control. Even my cousin Daniel tried to console me, probably scared at seeing me cry so much for the first time.

The mass felt like forever, I don’t even remember what was said, I didn’t really listen. I kept thinking about how strange it was to be in this situation, (and I kept wishing I had just one more Kleenex). Then I heard the priest say: “And now one of the grandchildren has prepared something to say.”
Oh god, I nearly forgot. My cousin Denise and I had written a “Top Ten Memories of Nonno John list” to read at the mass. She had said she wouldn’t be able to do it, and I told her I didn’t want to do it alone. Another cousin had something prepared, but wasn’t sure if she would be able to read it.

I sat there and waited a few seconds to see if anyone would get up. I then frantically looked over to Denise, who was shaking her head. Then, somehow, God only knows how, I stood up and made my way to the alter. Honestly, it was one of those situations where your legs just take over, and you just keep on walking without even thinking. Here’s what I read:

10. When he wanted us to get him something, sometimes he would act out what he wanted instead of verbally asking. For example, lifting his leg meant that he wanted his slippers, moving his shoulders meant that he wanted a sweater.

9. When Nonna Connie would bring food to the table, he always had to be the first to try it, even before it was served.

8. Once, after finishing our shopping at Price Chopper, my Dad, Nonna Connie and I came out to the car. Nonno John had been waiting in it, but now the car was gone. He didn’t have his license anymore at this time, but low and behold, he had moved it to a closer spot in the lot.

7. He would always open the champagne bottles at special occasions. While doing so, we’d all run for cover as he would jokingly aim at people. Once though, the cork hit the ceiling and came right down, hitting him on the head.

6.He would draw portraits pictures (you’d have to see them to get this).

5. My dad and I would take both of them shopping at Knob Hill Farms. It was always fun trying to make sure Nonno John didn’t “borrow” something without paying for it.

4.He would drive up to my house when I was young and take me to the cottage. Nonna Connie would be in the front seat, and I would sit in the back beside his “Charlie Bird” yellow canary.

3. Any chance he could, he would start singing one of his songs (one was of his family, and one was a song he sang to Nonna Connie asking her to marry him.)

2. When we were young, he would always tell a story about how he had been a boxer. He was losing the match, and between rounds he slipped a rock into his glove. He punched the guy out a won the match (It’s very likely that this was just a “story”, but we always loved challenging him on it anyways.)

1.On all of his children’s, and grandchildren’s birthdays, he would phone us and whistle Happy Birthday. Right to the end of his life he did this.

As you can imagine, it didn’t come out so nicely as I wrote here. I broke down at #8, and had a wait until I continued. I was a crying mess for the rest of the way through, and I probably made little sense. I was so happy that I did this though, I wanted him, and everyone there to know what he meant to me. I then went back to my seat, legs shaking and eyes crying.

After the mass, we brought the casket back to the hearse. In the limo, I was able to finally stop crying, and we took the long ride to the cemetery. We brought the coffin to the mausoleum, and they put him inside his spot in the wall. Everything was okay after this, and we all made peace. We left the church, and made our way to Aunt Laura’s for some food and refreshments. There, things were like a usual family gathering, except for the missing face of Nonno John.

Your family miss you dearly Nonno John.
I love you.

Peacefully passed...

Nonno John passed away this morning. He went peacefully, and had loved ones around him. His son from Italy came to visit him last night, the last child he had to see before he left for Heaven. Tomorrow and Thursday are the wakes, with the funeral on Friday.
Thanks again for all your support.

Starting to hit.

Well, today was rough.
Nonno John is totally mentally aware, but without a body that works. He tries to speak, but cannot be understood. His mouth is dry, and we cannot give him water. He can barely lift his hand, but tries to. He wants to spit out the phlegm in his thought, but can’t. The only thing the nurse could do was gave him an injection that will help dry up bodily secretions. He’s already so dry that he needs fake tear drops, and fake saliva sprayed on his dry tongue. They also turn him now and then to prevent him from getting more bedsores. I can’t even imagine what’s going through his head.....I don’t want to either.
On the bright side, he has at least 10 people around him all the time. Family has flown in from Arizona and Florida just to see him. There’s no much we can do but be there for him, and make him feel comfortable. God, I pray this does not drag on for him. The doctor told me today that he’s seen people live for weeks without an IV. Everyone is in okay spirits too, we laughed at times, and cried at others. For a few minutes things would almost seem normal, until reality hit.
It really started to hit me hard today, thinking about how different things will be once he’s gone. I’ve seen him at least every week, since the day I was born.
My mom is joining my Dad tomorrow, and they will be staying there until he passes. I feel guilty for not being there as well. If I went, I would have some serious school problems, but is that a good enough reason? Everytime I leave him, I tell myself to say goodbye for the last time. Now, sitting at home, I feel like I have to say it again.
I’m torn...

Last days

Today I spent my day doing some homework; I’ve fallen so behind. We got a call just now from my cousin Denise saying that the doctors have taken the IV out of Nonno John because his body wasn’t taking it in anymore. They say it hasn’t been going in for a day or so now. My parents went to see him today, and said that he doesn’t speak anymore, but still opens his eyes and squeezes your hand.
Tomorrow I’m going down again with my dad because they said he’s got a day or two left in him. The sooner his body give out the better now. We don’t want him to suffer.

Family

Hi all. Thank you again Judy and Daren for your support. Also, thanks to the rest of you who have emailed or phoned.
We just got in now. My family and I were at the hospital today and yesterday. Nonno John looks really skinny, and tired. The doctor says that he has a few days or weeks to live. He also told us that it’s up to the family if we want to keep him on the IV. Without it, he will slip away sooner. As of now, he is still able to communicate, and knows what’s going on around him. He’s very hard to understand when he speaks though. He starting to have some pain in his legs, so they gave him some mild pain killers (not morphine). I hope he doesn’t get too much pain though. I also think that he’s stating to understand that his time is almost up. He told us to make sure to buy him new shoes.
Nonna Connie is holding up well, but is sometimes too optimistic. We had to keep reminding her that he was not going to be coming back home, or even eating again. They’ve been married for almost 65 years now, so it will be very hard for her. I made my famous pasta with eggs and cheese for everyone last night at Aunt Laura’s house. I made sure that Nonna Connie ate a lot too, I don’t want her to get too weak. She spends her whole day at the hospital.
On a positive note though, Nonno John’s room is always packed with family. There are only supposed to be 2 guests per room, but his had up to 10 today. We were overflowing into the hallway.

Update

Hi guys. Just thought I’d update you on how Nonno John is doing.
The doctors have confirmed that his condition is fatal, and he has a few days or weeks to live. It’s hard to tell, the cancer has spread throughout his body.
The good news is that he is in no pain, and is in good spirits. All his brothers and family are visiting him in the hospital. Nonna Connie told them not to tell him the truth, to keep him from worrying. She knows him best, so it’s the right choice. My dad said that he probably knows the truth because he is dreaming of his parents, and another women he knew who died. He’s also told Nonna Connie to get his “blue suit” ready to bury him in, and who to give his wedding ring to.
I’m going to visit tomorrow and stay over until Friday. I want to get to see him while he is in good mental health. Nonna Connie is doing well so far, but my dad and his siblings are taking it hard. I tried to cheer him up tonight, but it’s hard. It’s his dad, and I have no idea how hard this is for him.
Thank you too Sreng for your support, and ear to talk to. I’m sure I will need the support, especially in the coming days.