Here’s what’s been going on for the last few days. This is a very long post, but bear with it.
On Wednesday night was Nonno John’s wake. It was a lot nicer then previous wakes that I’ve been to. It wasn’t so morbid, and people we standing around talking. Nonno Connie was crying a lot that night though. Nonno John’s body looked almost nothing like him, and was so cold.
On Thursday were another two wakes for him, one in the morning, and one at night. They were also less morbid. Nonno Connie cried less these time, and spoke with visiting family and friends. So many of my parent’s friends came, along with my cousin’s and Aunt’s. My cousins Denise and Diana were cry more this day, and even I broke down once.
Then, today was the funeral. We arrived at the funeral home at 7:50, while the guests arrived between 8am and 9am. I was one of the pallbearers, something I’ve never done before before. At 9am, the guest slowly left the room, and waited for us outside. My cousins and I went up to the body first to say our last good byes. Then his sons and daughters went up. When my Dad was saying his last goodbyes I started crying. Then my Aunt Laura went up, and I couldn’t stop. Hearing her say “oh Dad, you were so funny, you made me laugh so much” was so emotional. It was also the first time that I saw her really break down. Then Nonna Connie went up, which was heart wrenching. My cousins Denise, Diana and I were Kleenex faced, nose running like crazy. I haven’t cried uncontrollably since a year ago. His body was lowered into the coffin, and slowly the lid was closed.
A few minutes later, we made our way out of the room. On the way out, I went to give Nonna Connie a hug. She said “See, Nonno John is gone” and we both started crying and hugging. Someone kindly moved us apart, and I went to the washroom to compose myself. I did, and then took my place with the other five pallbearers (who, with everyone else, were waiting for me at the front of the funeral home).
Ava Maria began to be sung by a women who works at the funeral home. (I don’t know why they always use this song). Roses were put down on the floor, and the casket was wheeled out to us. I started crying again, and didn’t stop until we had brought the coffin outside and loaded it into the hearse. The six of us got in our limo, and took the drive towards the church. It felt like hours. I fought hard not to cry hard here. It felt surreal; I had never been in the front of the funeral possession. Funeral always went like this: Nonno John is riding in the front seat of our car, with Nonna Connie and my mom beside me in the back. Now, Nonno John’s body was in the front of the possession.
We got out at the church, and carried the coffin up the stairs and put it back down on the stand to wheel it in. My family was all around, and I just couldn’t believe this was all happening. I cried all the way in (I swear, this will be the last time I’m asked to be a pallbearer=). We all then took our seats, and I tried hard to cry quietly, although at this point, my body had full control. Even my cousin Daniel tried to console me, probably scared at seeing me cry so much for the first time.
The mass felt like forever, I don’t even remember what was said, I didn’t really listen. I kept thinking about how strange it was to be in this situation, (and I kept wishing I had just one more Kleenex). Then I heard the priest say: “And now one of the grandchildren has prepared something to say.”
Oh god, I nearly forgot. My cousin Denise and I had written a “Top Ten Memories of Nonno John list” to read at the mass. She had said she wouldn’t be able to do it, and I told her I didn’t want to do it alone. Another cousin had something prepared, but wasn’t sure if she would be able to read it.
I sat there and waited a few seconds to see if anyone would get up. I then frantically looked over to Denise, who was shaking her head. Then, somehow, God only knows how, I stood up and made my way to the alter. Honestly, it was one of those situations where your legs just take over, and you just keep on walking without even thinking. Here’s what I read:
10. When he wanted us to get him something, sometimes he would act out what he wanted instead of verbally asking. For example, lifting his leg meant that he wanted his slippers, moving his shoulders meant that he wanted a sweater.
9. When Nonna Connie would bring food to the table, he always had to be the first to try it, even before it was served.
8. Once, after finishing our shopping at Price Chopper, my Dad, Nonna Connie and I came out to the car. Nonno John had been waiting in it, but now the car was gone. He didn’t have his license anymore at this time, but low and behold, he had moved it to a closer spot in the lot.
7. He would always open the champagne bottles at special occasions. While doing so, we’d all run for cover as he would jokingly aim at people. Once though, the cork hit the ceiling and came right down, hitting him on the head.
6.He would draw portraits pictures (you’d have to see them to get this).
5. My dad and I would take both of them shopping at Knob Hill Farms. It was always fun trying to make sure Nonno John didn’t “borrow” something without paying for it.
4.He would drive up to my house when I was young and take me to the cottage. Nonna Connie would be in the front seat, and I would sit in the back beside his “Charlie Bird” yellow canary.
3. Any chance he could, he would start singing one of his songs (one was of his family, and one was a song he sang to Nonna Connie asking her to marry him.)
2. When we were young, he would always tell a story about how he had been a boxer. He was losing the match, and between rounds he slipped a rock into his glove. He punched the guy out a won the match (It’s very likely that this was just a “story”, but we always loved challenging him on it anyways.)
1.On all of his children’s, and grandchildren’s birthdays, he would phone us and whistle Happy Birthday. Right to the end of his life he did this.
As you can imagine, it didn’t come out so nicely as I wrote here. I broke down at #8, and had a wait until I continued. I was a crying mess for the rest of the way through, and I probably made little sense. I was so happy that I did this though, I wanted him, and everyone there to know what he meant to me. I then went back to my seat, legs shaking and eyes crying.
After the mass, we brought the casket back to the hearse. In the limo, I was able to finally stop crying, and we took the long ride to the cemetery. We brought the coffin to the mausoleum, and they put him inside his spot in the wall. Everything was okay after this, and we all made peace. We left the church, and made our way to Aunt Laura’s for some food and refreshments. There, things were like a usual family gathering, except for the missing face of Nonno John.
Your family miss you dearly Nonno John.
I love you.
