Like a child whose wish is granted only to be nothing as it seems.
I have seen an alternative life flash before my eyes, like another path I went running down, then away from.
I traded what was once heaven and earth, for hell and emptiness, thinking it was heaven and earth.
What a wake up call to the stupid ideas I once held, which swirled through my mind.
As if I needed to experience the storm to see the sun, to triggar a real total meltdown to allow for a true reboot. It was not enjoyable or fun, nor was I ever truly there in heart or mind.
I'm forever tied to another's heart, one that continues to beat for me even after all I have put it through.
I now know fear held me back, built the walls and locked the doors to my heart. It grew dark and cold, feeding off anger and choosing to hold onto it to protect itself.
Now, can really want out again, into a world which was once so warm? Will I really allow it to leave these shackles?
I have seen the alternative reality, one where other's seem trapped, stuck with their feet in the mud.
Can it be as simple as allowing love in again, and deciding to show some back? Is this just a trick of my heart or a glimmer between breaking clouds?
Only time will tell if the sun will shine, if it's rays will reach my garden, if my garden will grow, if the weeds will die.
No, time will not decide this, only the farmer who will tend the soil.
