Me time

"I need the free time, I need to get away. I need the free time to get away from you. I need some me time. I need to run away tonight..."

Ya, that's what's been circling through my mind lately. It's been a while since I've had this urge. The last time, I was still living in Brampton. Now, it's come up again, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I've always been a pretty independent person, while still having a great group of people around me. I was me, with great friends and family. Now I feel like I'm losing that me. I think it really hit me recently when I realized that my mom speaks to me in the plural sense. It's not just me, it's you(s). When she first started doing small things like that, I was happy because I saw it as her being accepting. But now she's gone to the other extreme, and sees me as 2. I don't have anyone tide to my hip.

That brings up a related issue. I like the idea of having a partner in life, both pushing each other forward, teaming up to take on the world, putting each other first always, and gaining success from each other. But, sometimes this situation cannot be, and we must accept it. I have. Some people are just different, have different goals, have different views of life, different education, and so on. 

Okay, so where am I going here (hey, I only ever promised this blog would be mindless rambling from the top of my head, perhaps meaning nothing in the morning)? Do I want a second half for my life or not? Well, kinda. I want my life, and have it linked with another's. I want mine to be made better by another's. I want the other's to complement, energize, and strengthen mine. But, I still want to be me.

Now comes the part that tweaks me just a little. I've never really understood what it meant to describe someone as a "free spirit". I just thought it was some new age lingo that didn't really mean anything. Lately though, I've started to relate, just a little. Are you a free spirit if you feel like running away every now and then, just to get lost on your own and not think about anything else? Who knows...

Now back to the song that started this blog...

"I need to run away tonight.  Run run run....where do you go to be free?"

tired

Is it worth trying if nothing comes of it? Or is it best to accept and join the crowed, per se? Maybe I should step back and take another look in, as it's usually the case that I only realise things too late. Sometimes even the grandest garden can get covered with ivy to the point that it's hard to see it below. At that point it's just a matter of whether or not the garden chokes under the weight of the growth on it.
by the way, it's so hard to not join in the game.

Life is Great.

I just wanted to share that my life is so great, and it has been for the last year and a half. Also, I get everything that I want, but that's not really new.

LIfe is much less about money now, and much more about having fun. I deserve it though, like all the advertisements say. Except, I have earned all the fun I am now having, and have no plans on giving any of it up!

I want a bailout

So, today the US decided that they won't be buying back 'toxic' mortgages in the banks, and will instead just investing in the banks themselves. This got me wishing...

I want a bailout.

Here is a history of my stock investment performance over the last 5 years:

XXXXXX

00000

00000000XXXXXX

0000000000000

000000000000

0000000000

00000000xxXXXX

0000000000000

0000000000000

000000000000XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

000000000000000000000000000000000

0000000000000000000000000000000

000000000000000000000000000000

000000000000

00000000000

So, the 000000000 are newly invested money, and the 0000 are the current;y invested money. So, basically, this rough graph tells you that I invested money, then lost some. Instead of cutting and running, I put in more. Then, lost again. So, I put more in. Then I got really excited, and put a whole lot more, and most of it in US bank stocks. A week or so later then dropped off a cliff. I hung on. A few months later they fell off another cliff and into the pits of hell.

I hang on still. 

I don't just have bank stocks now, but it really doesn't matter. Whatever I buy, it either falls slowly over time, or crashes all at once.

I hang on still.

Thankfully none of it is borrowed money, or my life savings. Well, some of it my savings, but I'm not like the US banks, using borrowed money. If I was, I probably wouldn't be typing this, because I wouldn't have cable.

So, now I sit here imagining the government coming in and buying up all my bad stocks, and giving me money back based on their original purchase prices. How nice would that be.

Will I invest more when  we hit the bottom?

Well, I already have... many other times when I thought the market had hit bottom.

I think I'll wait in out for a while this time.

distance

Sometimes distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Not only that, but it helps put things in perspective for you.
For example, if I were hit by a car, and left without legs, what and who would be the most important thing/person in my life?
It's really easy to take things for granted when the going is good. But, when the going gets tough...that's when you realise what is important.
Just a though on my mind tonight.....

Reflection

Wow, it's been a while. Upon opening my blog page I read my little comment on the side:

Why do we value money so much in our lives? Sometimes I look around and wonder if I value it too much. Has it become a measure of success for me? Wait, I know that answer already. Working hard has always been my strongest driver in life. Perhaps though, living is more than just work alone. Wait, I know that answer as well. Now, I guess the only question is when will I start living more and working less? I promise myself it will be this year, because a Soul cannot be Hugged by money forever.

Funny how plans sometimes actually pan out like you want. So, let me begin my posting with an update on the above self promise.

Short answer: Promise fulfilled.

When I wrote the above note, my life revolved around work, and how to make money. A goal that many people have somewhere in their life plans. But, I had tired of that goal, and without even knowing it, took a totally different path in my life that changed it.

Moving to Toronto a year a few months ago profoundly changed my life, and thankfully for the better.  Gone are the 60 hour work weeks, stress from parental tension, arguments, and a feeling of spinning in a circle.

Now my life is filled with a loving partner, who truly knows how to hug my soul. It's filled with a mostly supporting family. Some of the best friends I could ask for. Many fun times including dancing the night away, relaxing on the couch watching a movie, long walks or rollerblading, and all the time in the world to work out. Did I mention making money? Ya it's there too (and losing money looking at the state of the stock market, but let's not go there). 

Ya, I have a job. Not the most interesting or exciting, but one that fits my new lifestyle. Set hours, great co workers, a good wage, and less that 40 hours a week.

Best of all, I have a weekend to look forward to! There's nothing nicer than knowing you have a weekend full of fun plans coming up.

So what's my measure of success these days?

Experiences. 

I want to experiences all the great and crazy things that life has to offer, and not miss out on anything. 

Funny thing though, like the drive to make money, this new goal comes with it's own set of issues...

soul in need of a hug

wow, after so many months away, here I find myself when I need a hug.

The sun can shine so brightly in the sky, so warm and wonderful.
It can shine everyday, be there every morning when you open your eyes.
It can become such a perfect routine, that you almost start to take it for granted.
Inside, you tell yourself that it won't last always, and you try and convince your heart of the same.
But, the heart just knows the comfort of the perfect situation.
Everything aligns just right, everyday for so many days.
And days become weeks, and even months.
The mind forgets to remind the heart not to take the constant yellow glow for granted.
(or maybe it has forgotten this itself)
One day a cloud is seem off in the distance, but it is disregarded.
It will never make it here, and even if it does, it will not shatter the sunlight.
One morning, the cloud is high in the sky.
But, the shine shines on, just as predicted. Nothing has changed, happiness reigns still, uninterrupted.
The next morning the cloud is gone, and it is like that for the next 3 days. In the afternoon of the 4th though, the sun is gone.
The cloud has returned with a vengence. It has become lighting, thunder, and darkness.
The sunlight has stopped. Just for a day, but it is gone.
The next morning the cloud is gone, and it is bright again. The sun shines through, and it doesn't seem that too much has changed. Some say that weeds will begin to grow in the garden because of the rain.
But, that is paid no attention, as the cloud was just a one time thing, and mistake in paradise.
A mistake, that occurs again one week later. And again a few days later. The weeds are seen in the garden, and I am reminded of how it is like to have them there. To not have unending perfection.
My stomach turns at the thought of the cloud. Why can't it just blow away, and why must it be so close to the sun always. It is always there now, always near the sun.
Am I here for a hug, or just to rediscover my moral soul?

Making Yogurt

Ya, I'd like to see 300, especially on Imax. I saw Superman in Imax, and the large screen and 3d for that movie, made it worth while. The actual movie was bland though. 300 looks exciting.
O
kay, so for all those of you who don't know, I will tell you something cool. You can make your own yogurt, right from home! All you need it milk, and some real yogurt (read the ingredients when you buy it, it should only have bacteria and milks).
step 1: Bring the milk to a boil (as much as you want to make), then let it sit.
step 2: When the mix is still warm, but not hot, mix in a few tablespoons of yogurts, and stir.
step 3: Cover this, and let it sit for 12-14 hours.
step 4: You should now have yogurt! Put it in the fridge, and eat it all up, yum!

Hints:
-your yogurt will be runny if you let your milk cool too much before adding your yogurt.
-add fruits and tasty treats to your yogurt. It is the base to many great tasting treats.

Why go through all this "hard work" (ya right, it's so easy!). But, making your own yogurt is cheaper, free of nasty gums and preservatives, and most of all: fun and fast to make!

PS- thanks Patrycja for telling me this is possible!

facebook

So, remember on that last post, where I said that I would never join facebook? Well, I did. Why? Just to check out what all the fuss was about, and to be a little nosey in the lives of others.
I think it's cool, but will be so until the next big thing. First blogs were all the rang, and set to revolutionize the industry. Google bought out blogger for big money. Then, Myspace became all the rage, and everyone loved it. Another big company bought out myspace, because it was supposed to be the shit. Now, people have moved on to Facebook, because it is "so cool". We'll see how long it last. So far, it's just a lot of "hey, how have you been all these years that we've had absolutely no interest in contacting each other?"
I guess that it is a great place to meet people though, you can search in your "networks" and find people with common interests. For me though, it's all silly fun.

I'mmmm baaaaaaaack!

Yes, I'm in!!!
Hi guys, and long time no see, at least read. Sorry about the downtime, I've had trouble logging in. Actually, I haven't been able to log in. But, fear not, I have found a way about it, and things should be back to normal now.
So, what have you missed? Not too much I guess. I've been working a lot, nothing new there though. I have also gone out a few times with friends to clubs and restaurants. Went to Applebee's on Friday, and that was great, I ate way too much food, and was super stuffed while I worked that night.
I've also been over to Patrycja's house a whole bunch of times, which has been great. Her daughter, Antonina, is super cute, I love her already. We have also been trying to brainstorm some business ideas. So far we haven't had much luck, but we've just begun, and have lots of time still. Besides, we can always open an adult video shop, and make some money, right Patrycja! =P
It's getting warmer outside, which is a great thing. It always feels like I'm awakening from a long dream; as the snow melts away, a fresh start begins.
I also had a pretty bad scare with Nonna Connie. She had two heart attacks a few weeks back, and was going to die. The doctors told us that it didn't look good. Thankfully, she pulled through, and is on the road to recovery. Her kidneys are working better, and she's slowing gaining her strength back. She's also back at her home, which is good for her. It was strange, seeing her in the hospital bed, and thinking that could be the last time I see her alive. It made me cry, because she didn't know how bad off she was, and was worrying about what we were going to eat for lunch. Man, it gives you some perspectives on life, and what really matters.
I also dragged Daren out to keep me company while I stuffed my face at Sushi on Bloor. Thanks for that Daren!
Oh, and I met someone who is smart, funny, and loves having long discussions about business, stocks, and world issues. Yes, really!
And now begins another exciting week.
Talk to you all soon, I promise to post!

PS- No, I will not join Facebook, it's too hip and cool for me,... period ;)
(maybe in a few years)

Woman drinks so much water she dies - CNN.com

Woman drinks so much water she dies - CNN.com
This story made me feel like crying, especially this part:
""I was talking to her and she was a nice lady," Ybarra said. "She was telling me about her family and her three kids and how she was doing it for her kids.""
Read the story, the woman died trying to win a Wii.

On a happier Wii note, I downloaded the original Super Mario Bros. and Gunstar Heroes today, and it felt great playing them on the Wii remote!

The New Year

I’m back online! For those who haven’t heard me tell the story, here’s the brief rundown. Rogers shut down my internet service because of some Trojan virus, but now I’m back up and running. Other than those problems, I’ve been busy at work, and going to my new gym (well, I have a free one month pass at a new gym). Also, some girl named Zelda has needed my help.

How was everyone’s New Year’s? Mine was great. Sreng and Veena came over early in the night, and we hung out for a bit. They left early (party poopers;), and I headed over to Kyle’s. I got to ring in the New Year with a whole lot of fun people, most of whom I did not know, but got to know. Kyle’s house is always the place where something is happening.
How about New Year’s resolutions, does anyone do that? I don’t, but I do have some goals for the coming year, and here they are:

1) To find a full time job in one of my fields of study.
2) To buy a place of my own and live there while renting it out.
3) To learn how to ride the stock market better, and end 2007 in the black.
4) To start a life of my own, including expanding my social scene.

Ya, it’s a pretty big year ahead for me, much larger than last year’s goals where (which I totally passed). I think it will be a great year, and a huge transitional year. Looking back, last year was the end of “Student Steve”. This coming year might be the end of “Son Steve”, and the start of “Independent Steve”. Sounds cheesy, but that’s the simplest way to put it.

Now, it wouldn’t be the start of a new year without reflecting of the year that passed....
Last year started with me dreaming about moving to Vegas, and starting a life there. This dream propelled me to finish school a semester early, but like all dreams faded away. Moving somewhere hotter is still a goal of mine, but I now understand it’s more of a long term goal, once I have built up my resume enough to be sponsored by a company there. The rest of the first quarter was mostly about school.
Then, I went to Vegas again with my family, and had a great time. I met with an old friend, and met a new one. It’s always in Vegas that I find myself in the most memorable situations.
After that, I continued with Summer school, and even found time for a Summer crush, which ended sadly, but that’s the way things go sometimes. After that I found myself in a Summer fling, which like most flings ended as well. Totally, no lose there though, just a little fun for the Summer weeks. After that I graduated, and was promoted at work. The year ended on that note. This year I made some new friends (like you Daren, and Ben.), and unlike last year, I didn’t lose any major friendships.
So, all in all, 2006 was a pretty great and exciting year. One negative was that my relationship with my parents did not improve at all, but I feel that it will once I move out on my own.

Other than that, I have to give a big warm welcome to the world for Patrycja’s new little baby, who is super cute, and I can’t wait to see soon!

merry christmas

 
hey from my Wii

Today was my day off, and I played a little Zelda again. Here is how it goes for me when I play a new Zelda game:
Day one: Oh, man I can't wait! Hum, this seems a little boring though.
Day two: Oh man, all this stuff again, this seems boring.
Day three: Hum, that part was cool.
Day four: Wow Hyrule is so big! I can't wait to see it all.
Day five: Wait a minute, there are so many things I can do, this is cool...
Day six: "No! I'm not coming for dinner, I'm busy!"

I'm on day five, this game is awesome. Judy, you NEED to play this. On a similar note, my Wii is online now, which is exciting. I phoned Nintendo today to help me out, which was sooooooo cool. I felt like I was speaking to a celebrity. The guy was very helpful and friendly, excelent customer service. When my Wii got online I danced a Russian style dance around my house. Yes, I really did, it was my happy Wii dance.
So, don't mine me if I send you random emails from my Wii. Just make sure to email me back.
=)
~~~~
Yesterday we had our management lunch/dinner/meeting. We went to "10" in Port Credit which was really great. The food was tasty, and the service was nice. Not having to pay for any of it, and getting a Christmas bonus...priceless.
Off to bed.

WiiExtreme

I saw a report on CP24 (a totally reliable and credible news source oh course...) about the Wii recall, and the damage that the Wii (and only the Wii) is causing. I think they were referring to this incident, which is totally real, and totally not fake. A friend of a friend of mine had to be rushed to the hospital after sticking the remote up their ass. That Wii is just so dangerous!!!
Now off to play Wii like a normal person, not an animal.